Lamp not a torch (something happen)

 

In my childhood, I always want to be a doctor (a very popular dream when I was kid) or maybe if I’m not lucky  I’ll become a priest... this two "profession" I think will be suit in me.. At the time, I think I’m clever enough and good enough to be one of those things. As I grew up, I realize that dream become a doctor became clearer, in high school I belong to a good school in my city and I did pretty well there, and even I like chemistry very much.. Since my family always support me to do what I like to, I become fearless about this dream.

After high school, I prepare myself to face national test by join private tutoring.. As long as I remember, I always choose medical faculty (doctor department) in every try out prepared by that private tutoring. I am quite diligent and very focus at my goal at the time. The day for national test coming, and I have the form and I’m ready to fill the faculty I want and the national university I dream (doctor department in two famous universities in my country). Accidentally my brother saw my form and laughing at me..  I remember when he said: “that’s silly, how come you have same faculty when you have 2 choices? You need to be crazy bro!!” after that he pushed me to fill my first choice with something that I think I will not through (the first choice should has higher point than second choice, because it is for crazy, I put the best institute in my country as my first choice). Okay, that institute is hell out of my capability, and let it be something to memorize one day as a joke of my life.

When the day of test result announcement came, I’m very happy and very sad at the same time. Happy because I pass the national test, sad because I got my first choice instead of my second. What should I do?  I don’t like physic at all when this major will be part of my life as I’m in college.  How will I face this best institute?  

I enter that campus, ITB (Bandung Institute of Technology) with proud and sadness. In the main of its gate, there is a big billboard saying: “welcome the best sons and daughters of this country” and look at myself, am I one of those people?

First year in this institute is very frustrating. I learn more about physic that I don’t like and must buried my dream as a doctor. I remember when I have a physic midterm test; I only got 28 out of 100. It is even worse when my name announced by the lecturer as one of the student that potentially failed in this major. What a shocking moment for me. I remember I am not that stupid, and I don’t want to waste my time and become a looser. At least, I should try to finish my study first, after that let life decide. After the dramatic condition (hyperbolic), I try to learn physic and actually I learn to love physic.. 

Day by day, month by month and year by year, I don’t even realize that I have finished my study in ITB that quick and pretty well; even I continue my study there to get my “master of engineering” title. If thinking about the last time, I realize that God help me through my brother to change my choice. Maybe I’m not a good doctor when I become one, and maybe I am. But I believe: “ That little change make me a better me now”.

That’s true my childhood dream never come true.

But that’s also true that I love my job now as an engineer and I’m proud to be an engineer.

And it is true that something happen for a reason.

As bible said:

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” (Psalms 119:105)

God never give us  a torch so we can see clearly ahead, He just give us a lamp unto our feet, so we can see what exactly happen now and trust Him for further step of our life and trust me, He never fail!

-God bless you-